TRUCKERS ARE PIGS

YELLOW BOTTLES ALONG THE ROAD SIDE

copyright '09

TRUCKERS ARE PIGS

There is a large shopping mall across the freeway from the truck stops in Ontario, California.

At one time truckers could park at the mall and go shopping, &/or enjoy a movie, or a nice dinner.

One, sunny, Sunday afternoon, some bone head trucker parked at the mall and cleaned out his truck, sweeping all his dirt and garbage onto the parking lot.

It's all on video. Now the mall does not allow trucks to park in their lot.

When people ask me what I do for a living I am ashamed to tell them I am a trucker.

Last month I pulled into a turnout to water the lilies and a cop came running over wanting to know why I hadn't pull ahead as he had waved at me to do.

I told him I hadn't pulled in to see him, I had pulled over to go pee.

He said I couldn't pee here. I told him I would pee on his foot if he didn't get out of the way.

Not being able to hold it any longer I slid out from under the wheel, went into my sleeper, and grabbed my pee bottle.

The cop opened the door of my truck and I yelled at him, “Can I have a little privacy in here”.

Later, while writing out a ticket for now wearing a seat belt, he said he thought I was going to pee on the pavement and pointed at all the stains on the asphalt in the turn out.

I have a urinary problem. I pee frequently. The sound of running water, or fuel, gives me the urge. I carry an empty salsa bottle, it has a large opening, behind my seat.

I never pee on pavement, or concrete. The sun bakes it and it smells like hell.

I can't understand why drivers can't walk another couple of feet and pee on the grass, gravel, dirt, or weeds. Contrary to popular belief pee will not kill grass. Nor will it stink after it soaks into dirt.

After driving for several hours I can not stop and get fuel. The sound of the fuel would make me pee my pants. So when I pull up to the pumps I immediately step into my sleeper and grab my pee bottle. Then the bottle goes in the garbage can at the pumps.

Why drivers insist on throwing their pee bottle out the window I will never know. Every truck has to stop for fuel and every fuel stop has a garbage can.

I also don't understand how drivers can pee while they are driving. Mine is much too short and my jeans are too tight. And it must be terribly distracting. Guys, keep your mind on your driving.

I know, I know, the government is too cheap to build turnouts and the rest areas say `No Trucks', and we are not allowed to stop on the shoulders of the freeways. And we all have bladder problems from sitting and bouncing for so many hours at a stretch. But at least keep the bottle in your truck until you stop near a trash bin.

And speaking of trash, what's with all the trash around the pull outs. So there isn't a garbage can. You can't keep it in your cab until you get to a truck stop?

In my rig, and my personal vehicle, beside the driver's seat, is an oil jug. I cut the top off, put a weight in the bottom, so it won't fall over, and line it with a small plastic bag. This is for garbage, mainly Kleenex and toilet paper. I have a portable toilet under the bunk.

Hanging from the seat belt or arm rest, of the passenger seat is a larger plastic bag. This is for recyclables; paper, plastic, glass, and/or metal. Nothing goes out the window while I am parked, or rolling down the highway.

And certainly nothing goes on the ground when I am at a truck stop, or in a turn out. There is no reason for those piles of cigarette butts or those coffee stains on the parking lot pavement.

Come on guys, trucking is a proud profession. Quit giving the public a reason to call us PIGS.

Bear

THE END

LINKS TO RELATED WEB SITES

Fox News logo
FOX NEWS

Urine Bottles

REDDING . COM

Truckers' Bombs
ROADSIDE AMERICA
Jugs of Pee
Sun Sentinel logo
SUN SENTINEL

Throw The Bottle

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